Have you ever gone out drinking and forgotten how you got home? That's what happened to me last night.

After partaking in a moderately illegal activity in an igloo my friends made in their back yard (which is awesome) I made my way to the local pub to watch the Caps play the Senators. They lost. Again. I drowned my sorrows with the house lager and then headed home to see the ladyfriend. Since I was in an inebriated state, she was understandably put out. Now, any loving boyfriend in their right mind would consume a strong cup o' joe, take a cold shower, dunk their head in the snow and sit down to watch another compelling episode Brothers and Sisters on the love sac. This loving boyfriend, however, was not in his right mind. I ended up back out with her roommate, Sean, who insisted I go out to keep him company while he drank. He would return the favor, of course, by buying me drinks.

Several bottles of Budweiser later I... well, that's the last thing I remember. There is the vague recollection of shots of some kind of liquor, perhaps several kinds of liquor, but it may be the thick, sour taste in the back of my throat that's informing my memory, or it may be the faintest reminiscence of the anticipation of regret that one gets as they're downing strong drink after downing strong drink. I woke up in the ladyfriend's bed at nine-thirty this morning, no idea how I got there, and my car blocking her in the driveway.

Now, I like to think of myself as a responsible drinker. I gave my keys to Sean last night with the knowledge that I'd be a few sheets to the wind, and, bless his little heart, he drove us home. This led to the ladyfriend being blocked in, which led to her being upset at her hungover boyfriend, which led to this boyfriend moving Sean's car out of the driveway, which led to him realizing he didn't know where his keys were.

Apparently my friend Doug had come by to see us after I went to bed to take a coma, and people had been snowed in and cars needed to be moved, and my friends, in their unsteady state, had placed my keys in their pockets and left.

In honor of this occasion, I'm going to do a top-five, in no particular order, best songs about being drunk, or being a drunk, or being in a fight because you're a drunk.

1. "Barfly," Ray Lamontagne -- A slow strain starting out with an acoustic strum that smacks of Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side." Lamontagne's voice is perfectly suited for lamentation; gravely, bluesy, soulful. A haunting, understated guitar twang between the verses ties together a song who's attitude could be interpreted as devil-may-care but is revealed as desperate and afraid with the chorus. When he asks the woman to kiss him- "Kiss me before you go, I'm going nowhere-" you can tell he's not only asking, but pleading with her, begging her to legitimize him as a man.
2. "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer," George Thorogood -- Unlike "Barfly," this Thorogood staple is upbeat in it's misery. This poor bastard gets kicked out on his ass, his boy's wife won't let him stay with him, and his landlady keeps breaking his balls about rent that he can't afford. His response? Fuck this shit. I'm going to go get lit and not worry about it for a while. And he does. Hasn't everyone been there at least once in their lives?
3. "Last Call," Tha Alkaholics -- I love Tha Alkaholics. They manage to produce legitimate hip-hop with catchy rhymes, great samples from R&B and soul songs, and maintain a slurring sense of humor the whole time. This song, off of 21 & Over, encapsulates the desperate need for that last drink at last call that the bartender won't give you, as well as the sense of fun that goes hand-in-hand with a night out at the bar with your friends.
4. "Roadhouse Blues," The Doors -- Dislike The Doors. Jim Morrison, like PSH says in Almost Famous, was a drunken buffoon. That being said, this is my favorite song by them. They were able to produce a really great and accessible blues song about wanting to drink. The organ can go on a little much, and it's a little one-noted and contrived, as is much of their material, but the line "Woke up this mornin', and I got myself a beer," is just, like, ugh I love it. It makes me enjoy the whole song, and The Doors, a little bit more.
5. "Re: Stacks," Bon Iver -- Justin Vernon, the man behind Bon Iver, said about this song that it was for anyone who'd ever seen their soul at a poker table. As much about gambling as it is about drinking, this shaky lullaby from the brilliant For Emma, Forever Ago features only a guitar and Vernon's eerie falsetto. He conveys his inability to stop "throwing them down two hundred at a time" with sparsity and ambiguous restraint as he wonders how he became so far gone. He asks "Whatever could it be that has brought me to this loss?" and he tells us at the end, promising whoever he's singing to that "Your love will be safe with me," when the song has shown us that it most likely will not.